Cousins

All of the kids in the orphanage refer to each other as "primos" (cousins). I don't know if that was taught or one of them came up with it at one point. There are about 25 kids there divided in 2 houses, one for babies and boys and one for the girls. The teenagers each have chores, cook, go to school, listen to music and just plain hang around (by the way, mark added a link to a video of her "cousin" Jesus on the "Bittersweet Day" post. Take a look!)
There is even a 22 year old who is living in an apartment on the third floor of the orphanage building with her sister. They are now out of the orphanage care technically, but the mission that supports it pays their schooling and oversees them still. They are both going to nursing school.

They're of legal age. Now, the orphanage is their home.

Like the 3 sisters that have been there for 5 years now. Their mother died at a young age and their father developed cancer. When he couldn't care for them anymore, the orphanage was his only choice. He always came by before he was bed ridden, bringing cookies and treats. The girls gladly skipped the orphanage's Christmas parties and toys to spend it at his house. No party there, of course. He passed away 2 years ago now and Peru has still not signed their certificate of availability, so they can't be adopted.

They were never abandoned. They were loved very much. So would they even want to be adopted at 13, 11 and 9? Now, the orphanage is their home.

In Peru there is no legal way for a woman to give over her child for adoption. And a child that is found or abandoned at the hospital cannot be available for adoption until an abandonment decree is signed by a government organization. Jorge was found at birth, taken in and cared for, and now has a Peruvian family waiting to get him under foster care.

They can't. His abandonment decree is not up yet. He's going on two.

That was Cecilia's story too.

I could very well still be waiting. I could have met her in her teens when adaptation in a new county and to a new language would have been next to impossible (rehearsed speech to self every time I think of the girls). Or I could not have had her at all if her birth mother had made a more desperate choice.

Tomorrow we go to court and finalize the adoption. She will be legally ours. I am daily humbled by this gift, by God's sovereignty in choosing Lia for us, and by how little I have brought about on my own (I packed...). But after a week at the orphanage I know I am receiving more than one gift. I am taking all Lia's cousins in my heart to love from a distance. That memory is a gift, but it's still not the last one. The last and biggest is hope - that Lia and we and all her cousins will one day be united in a perfect place. No one will be there because of tragedy, abandonment or desperate choices. It's being prepared for us right now. And we will all finally feel at home.

Summer Legs

Bruises... Luciana calls them "summer legs". It's actually a very positive thing.

After spending her whole life in the orphanage, Lia is discovering more of the outside world, for the good and the bad. Let me explain...

Yesterday we went to the park. Isa and Lia chased bubbles, as I lost my breath. They had a blast. Other children would join in and then drift off with their parents after awhile.

Since moving in with us six days ago, we have noticed scratches on her arms, blisters on her feet and black and blue marks on her legs. She is not completely stable on her feet, and she loves to chase bubbles, pigeons, dogs, and anything else that moves. These bruises are signs of a child who is embracing a summer life.

We have also noticed that she will walk right up to anyone who is enjoying a bag of popcorn in the park, or having an intimate conversation with their significant other and expect a response. Yesterday she plopped herself down on the grass to watch a woman in the park doing sit-ups.

She is afraid of no one. At her going away party we saw the social butterfly in all her glory. She would strut from one person to another as they would give her bites of cake and ice cream. The places she spent the majority of her life were the orphanage and the church. No wonder she trusts everyone.

Becoming like a little child. Isn't that what Jesus calls us to? Summer legs and trusting that God has the best for us. I am learning to smile at the people that Lia chooses to walk up to at the market, in the park, or strolling past us in the street.

Not as easy for me as it is for Lia, but Jesus is a great teacher.

Lia is too...

mbp

The blessing of a stranger

Today we had the first visit with the psychologist who is following the adaptation of Cecilia and also our well being. Everything is going really well. She has a couple of regression symptoms - which is normal and desirable. At the orphanage, as much as the "tias" (aunties) loved those kids, autonomy is encouraged much too early for the sake of anything getting done. Lia fed herself with a spoon, so who knows how much actually went in. She also was put in her crib and was out, cold in minutes and without a word. For the last couple days she has wanted to be held while fed, and complained at being laid down to sleep.

That is all a good sign. Just never thought I'd be saying this...

As I grow used to her little face , her little sounds to communicate, her temperament, life seems more normal.

And then I take her out in the stroller.

I knew my discomfort radar was beeping, but it took me a whole day to put my finger on what was bugging me. Looks. Some people look discretely and look away politely. Some look at her, then up at me, then down at her again. Some can't help themselves and turn their heads as we pass each other in busy down town Lima. One lady in a little convenience store, stopped sweeping the floor to stare at her.

So I didn't leave my fear in Huaraz.

When Lia walked into that orphanage room for the first time, we balked. The pictures we had gotten had been of her looking straight on and did not do justice to the condition of her lips. A picture also can't show how small she really is. REALLY is. We might as well not have been prepared at all. We judge nobody (maybe their manners, but not them)

When we stopped for dinner, Lia started flirting with the restaurant owner who came out to our sidewalk table to talk to her.

"How old is she?"

"She's 2 and 4 months"

"She's a little pepper! Has she had her mouth operated on?"

"Yes, twice, but we're not finished yet."

"Yes, I can see." Then she put her hand on Lia's head

"God bless you, sweetheart. God bless you many times."

Here is something else I was not prepared for. The blessing of that stranger came also upon my head. What Lia needs, God has been providing since her birth. He has been preparing her (really) little heart, and won't quit the job and hand it over to us now. He is the one who will bless her (many times). And I am the lucky tool. Glory to God.

For somebody who likes control, it feels good to have so little.

That's a good sign. Just never thought I'd be saying that...

lp

Lia goes to the doctor

Lia had a visit with the doctor yesterday. Once again we are reminded that God has blessed us with the option of taking her to a private hospital.

Children with public health care have two options. The first is to wait in line at the public hospital from 5:30 in the morning, wait to be called, and pay $2. Often this means you will see a doctor in the late afternoon or evening. The second, and more expensive option would be to take her to a government run clinic, pay $10 and have an appointment. The orphanage couldn't afford the second, so they would paid their $2 and settle in for the wait.

Yesterday Isa and I went out to buy flowers for Luciana while she took Lia to the doctor appointment. We found a flower stand where I chose Calla Lilies and Isa bought some bright pink carnations with Baby's Breath. We stopped by a craft market and bought a vase. Then we headed home.

Luciana was just arriving from the doctor at the same time we returned. The news was very encouraging. Lia will always be small, but the doctor was encouraged that she will gain weight with the food supervision we are giving her. We also got some more throrough diagnosis for a few smaller issues and got appropriate medication. One of the best help we got was directions on how to clean and treat the still open palate until she can get more surgery. We have already seen some pretty dramatic results. The doctor was ready and willing to answer all of our questions, which is not always the case in Latin American hospitals. Sometimes doctors think you are defying their authority with too many questions.

Like I said, the private hospital was a blessing. The trip to the doctor cost $80; maybe the best $80 we've spent since we arrived.

Luciana was thrilled with her flowers. The Calla Lilies sit on the dining room table. Isa proudly displayed the Carnations in the kitchen.

We spent $1.20 on the Carnations. The Callas were $5 a dozen. And the vase cost $13.

Amazing how quickly and easily I can spend $20 without a second thought.

mbp

How can I keep from singing...

"He that spared not his own son but delivered him up for us all, how will he not, also with him, freely give us all things?"

• 4 donated, first class tickets to Lima and a safe flight



• A wonderful lawyer that has accompanied us everywhere and become a friend


• A lovely hotel that we got for cheaper because of the Godly reputation of missionary friends in Lima


• The safe trip on a bus to Huaraz
  
  
  
• Wycliffe missionary friends that we just met who opened their home for us for a week and their hearts, helping us process the rough first days at the orphanage (Check them out at http://www.adeandrachel.com/ . Much better pictures than we could have gotten in our week there to show Lia's heritage and homeland.)
  
  
  
• Looking at the Andes out the kitchen window while doing dishes



• Nobody got sick (and friends, we are "less than cautious" with street food...)

• Discovering my daughter was the sweetheart of the orphanage and church she attends, and had the best of what one can receive from an institution


• A Christian orphanage


• Safety on the trip back despite an irresponsible driver (NOT my husband, by the way)


• An apartment, also donated to us, bigger than our house in the best part of Lima for a month


• Family and friends without whose prayers and encouragement we would have had some dark days. Keep them coming!


• Isabel's acceptance of Cecilia as a sister ("yes she IS ours!" - Isabel's response to a lawyer telling us she was not officially ours till next Tuesday)


• And most of all, a little girl who has lost her nannies and orphanage siblings overnight, has survived abandonment and surgeries before she could walk, has been brought to a strange house with new people that are fumbling to learn her ways, and still woke up in her pack and play (at 5:15 - but no less cute) saying "mama?"

If Love is Lord of heaven and earth, how can I keep from singing...

We don't eat here when we are in the States!!!

We are back in Lima. Thank you for your prayers. You know... you go through life often on auto-pilot, and then a day like yesterday happens and you're reminded. I have married the most beautiful woman. (She'd make me change this if she saw it, but since she doesn't know how to erase things that are already posted, I'm safe!) Luciana is an amazing woman. She has really been such an example of Christ's love for our new daughter.

We decided to hire a driver to bring us back from Huaraz. I think his goal was to break some sort of speed record on those mountainous roads. Luciana sat in the back of that car for six hours (should have been at least seven. The bus ride took eight hours with NO stops.)

Lia vomited several times all over Luciana, and had a REALLY dirty diaper once. Luciana never complained. Instead, she loved our daughter more after the trip than she did before. Her compassion is being converted into love day by day. Her feelings towards the driver, on the other hand... (and with reason. We asked him to slow down several times, to no avail.)

This morning all I can say is , Ahhhhhh, It's nice to be settled into the place we will stay for the next four weeks. Isabel and Lia played with Lia's new letter magnets on the back door.

This was Isa's less than subtle hint about what she wanted to do today. We don't even eat at McDonalds in the States, but I think Isa was craving a little of something that looked familiar, even if it's what she sees as we drive by it. Fair enough.

In the past week and a half she has slept in five different places (including an airplane) and has eaten a lot of things she has never seen before. She has traveled thousands of miles, by bus, taxi, and airplane. Most importantly, she has been asked to accept a little person with all kinds of needs as her little sister, and she has done it with open arms.

Am I bragging on my family? You better believe I am.

mbp

A Bittersweet Day

Our first picture as a family of four!

We have been in Peru for a week. Yes... One week ago today we landed in Lima. The amount of emotions we have felt in the past week have been enough for a nine month pregnancy!

Tonight was the goodbye party at the orphanage. All the caregivers and some of the children spoke about their love for Cecilia. It was a bittersweet experience for all. The love they felt for her after taking care of her for the past two years was hard for some of them to express. She would not have lived if it hadn't been for their constant care, and we are truly grateful for them.

Lia and Isa are sleeping downstairs as I write this. Isa was thrilled to go to bed later than her little sister. When we called her from the merry-go-round at the orphanage we were expecting a protest. Instead she said,"Is it time to take my little sister home?" She also was telling Lia on the way home, "Tu ya vas a vivir en mi casa." ("You are coming to live in my house.")

We are not naive. We know things will not always be easy. We know there will be times that Isa will be embarrassed about the way her sister looks in front of her friends. But it's nice to know Isa is accepting Lia, and already growing quite fond of her.

The hardest thing for me tonight was seeing one of the boys, 13 year old Jesus, break down and cover his face for 10 minutes while the party continued around him. Anyone who knows me, knows I have a soft place in my heart for street kids (young boys who have had to survive the horrors of the streets that I will never know.)

Jesus reminded me immediately of one. The minute I walked into the orphanage I caught his eye, and he mine. Friendship began at that moment. it wasn't until a couple of days later that I found out that he had loved Lia as a little sister. He was the one who taught her to walk. He could get her to laugh when all we got were blank stares.

He cried hard.

I found him later hiding his tears in the kitchen. I hugged him and thanked him for all he had done for my daughter. I told him that he would not be forgotten. I asked his advice, telling him I had only known her for three days, and he had helped to raise her. And I told him that I wasn't supossed to be crying as the tears ran down my cheeks.

Fortunately, he is not up for adoption or I may have started scheming. Or should I say, unfortunately...

Tomorrow's the Day

Today is the last day we will call ourselves a family of three. We spent the day with Isabel at Lake Chinancocha. We decided that Isa needed it (or maybe I did.) What was supposed be a two and half hour drive took four. The roads were treacherous, but the scenery was phenomenal. Defenitely not the drive through The Great Smoky Mountains National Park.

Today Isabel's comment made us both realize that she will be mourning at the same time she is rejoicing.

"Mama, I like when it's just the three of us."

We have been extremely careful to help Isa process this change, and if you know her, she doesn't have an unspoken thought. That makes things a lot easier. So Luciana asked questions and discussed the new little sister with her. As Isabel thought about it, she realized that it would be like taking some of the other children Luciana has watched out on special events. She said, "well she can't really talk," which made her feel better. (Again, if you know Isa, you realize that sharing the "verbal floor" would be of great concern.) It's bigger... we know. The mourning and rejoicing will go hand in hand for awhile.

So tomorrow Luciana will take Isabel over to the orphanage and have caregivers do the two sisters' hair in the same fancy style before we go off to church. And that will be the begining of our family of four.

Thanks for your prayers. We truly could not do this without them.

Our last photograph as a family of three.

mbp

Now, where is his wife?

I'm here, I'm here. Those of you who know me are wondering when I'm going to speak up (or out). I'm usually the one jumping the gun, thinking quick, and consequently having to try and remove my feet from my mouth on various ocasions.

But I'm slow cooking this one.

I wanted to see her first. I wanted to feel in my arms how (little) she feels. To feel in my fingers her pin straight, thick, black hair (I've combed black children, white children, mixed children, Quetchua indian is new.).
And I did.

I also saw how feeding her will be a challenge. And she laughed with her mouth wide open... how many more surgeries will she need? She's 2 and about the size of an American 1 year old - which makes her look like a little fairy, if it wasn't because she was underfed and can't seem to gain weight... How much pain is she going to go through until we're out of the woods? How much speech therapy? Getting the theme?

If not, the theme is fear. I felt it like a dark dye permeating my fabric. Not eliminating compassion, certainty of the call, joy... just tainting it. Enough that my prayers are scattered and my praise is heavy and hard to lift, like wet cloth.

So it was pulling this trail of fear behind me that Mark, Isabel and I went to Huaraz's central square to look around and eat street food. It was packed with people selling grilled ox hearts on a stick, children running, a couple llamas chewing the cud, and a man singing off key, translated hymns through a megaphone.

But beyond that, encircling the whole city, are the snow capped mountains. And it was looking at them that I remember - or was so gently remimded, that the relief I was seeking was not going to be found in the central square. That is not where my help comes from.

That's also when I heard what hymn the preacher was singing and started singing along in my head. I don't know the words in English so I sang it in Portuguese. Ends up the translations were very different - almost 2 different themes. I grew up singing "Good Name, sweet faith, the hope for what is to come", and his Spanish was saying: "Jesus is for me the only hope of health." My daughter needs health. I need hope.

A stream of light did not break the clouds and zap my fear away. But fear was never a popular theme with Jesus. And then there are the mountains. I bowed my head, and said a Portuguese amen to his Spanish.

And it also ends up, the only words the two hymns had in common was Esperanza. Look it up.

Second Visit

Thank you, thank you, thank you for all your prayers. We have had over 200 people check the blog in the past 24 hours, which means I'm a little behind. I wish I could speak this and have it show up, rather than sit in front of this computer, but we take what we can get...


Actually, I wish you could be here with us. Our senses are flooded (Luciana's word; I liked assaulted) every minute of the day. The mountains... (Perfect example; I was just called in the middle of writing "mountains" to look at the sunset. Here's the picture.)

This is Huascaran; the tallest mountain in Peru.

A lady walking her pigs down the street, the Quechua market, the roast chicken open restaurants... and did I mention the mountains...

Now for the important information. We spent some time with Rosita today. Things already felt more peaceful. Again, thank you for your prayers. We saw the real Rosa Maria in her element. She was not being asked to accept two total strangers as Mami and Papi (not that she would even know what those words meant). We watched her play, dance and laugh. Luciana fed her, which will be a challenge, and changed her diaper, which she fought really hard (which was a really good sign.)

Isabel enjoyed running with her and dancing with her, completely unprompted. Like I said yesterday, Isa is leading the way. (big surprise to those of you who know her.)

Tomorrow we will take her back to the home we are staying at for a couple of hours. We will feed her lunch and return her for her nap.

God bless you, as he has us...

mbp

First Day with Rosa Maria Cecilia

I think the only reason I have found the energy to post today is because so many of you are praying with great anticipation. Needless to say, it has been an overwhelmingly emotional experience for the entire family, including Cecilia. Of course, we have all been handling it in different ways.

Once again, I am amazed by Isa's strength. I think it has kept me strong.

As Isa and Rosa Maria were swinging, Isa turned to me and said, "Papi, dice a Rosa Maria, 'Hola Rosa Maria. Yo soy tu papa' porque ella no sabe." (Papa, tell Rosa Maria, "Hi, Rosa Maria. I'm you're father" because she doesn't know.) Like I said, sometimes it's Isa that keeps me strong.

At this point, I would like to share pictures more than anything and ask for your continued prayers. As you can see, these pictures give you a clearer idea of what kinds of issues we will be dealing with.

We love you all and thank God for those of you who are walking this road with us.

Survivors

Yesterday we left Lima at 1pm and rode through the most barren land I have ever seen. I had no idea that Lima was built in the middle of a desert. The following pictures give you a small taste of what we saw from our windows for several hours; absolutely incredible. One was taken from my side of the bus (looking straight up) while the other was taken from Isabel's side (looking straight down.

I was unable to get any pictures of the “homes” that people had built on the desert wasteland. No water. No electricity. Boxes on the sand. I couldn't help but think over and over, “How do they survive?”

This country is a land of survivors.

I woke up this morning at 6 am after a restless night , and decided I was done trying to fight with sleep that wouldn't come. I am sitting here at the table looking out the window at the most phenomenal mountains I have ever seen, and waiting until 8:45 when we will leave for the orphanage.

And my mind keeps returning to Cecilia...

And a land of survivors...

We were told she probably wouldn't have made it if Arco Iris Orphanage hadn't taken her in. We are told she is a very determined little girl.

Of course she is... That's how God made her. He had to make her that way.

A land of survivors...

mbp

To Huaraz...

It's 10:56 according to the cell phone that the lawyer provided for us and Luciana thinks I'm a little off my rocker for getting out of bed to let you all know what's going on, so I'm making this super quick.

We met our lawyer today and he couldn't be more helpful. I'm sure he didn't know that he would be calling about apartment rentals, explaining new fruits that we spotted on a street vendor's cart, and helping us pick out a stroller; but not a complaint.

Tomorrow we travel by bus up into the Andes. (Prayers would be appreciated.) We've heard about the bus drivers' love for speed around the turns, and if they are anything like the taxi drivers here in Lima we might want to keep our "in-flight sickness bags" on hand.

We will not meet Lia until Wednesday morning, so don't expect an update until late on Wednesday...

With new pictures!

Good night friends.

mbp

A Second Note from Isabel

I am happy that we are in lima
and that we are going to get cecilia.
and you too?
please make a comment.

isabel Janet Poulterer.

Welcome to the Pacific

I'm sorry... this picture was downright rude to those of you in the Midwest...

Isa has "crashed" for the third (and hopefully final) time today, so I have the opportunity to get some of the days events, thoughts and emotions down.

We got to the hotel about 8 hours before check in (give or take a few minutes) and they kindly fed us breakfast and gave us a temporary room for a few extra bucks. Before we even arrived we had said we would pay an extra night just to get in a room immediately, so this was a huge blessing.

After waking up we walked around town, found a little sandwich place for lunch (not Panera or Jimmy Johns) and enjoyed a stroll through the park where local artists were selling their paintings.

We've been a little detached today from the reason for our trip, but tomorrow that will all change. At 9 am we have a meeting with SNA (Peruvian DCFS) and our lawyer to make sure all is ready for us to travel.

On Tuesday we take the 8 hour bus trip into the Andes (where the highs are in the 40's and rain everyday, if that makes you feel better) to meet our new daughter...

We could use your prayers. The closer we get the more bipolar the emotions begin to feel. Maybe that's why this whole trip is feeling like a vacation.

Of course, this helps too...


mbp

A Note from Isa

I am happy that God has sent us to peru to get cecilia.

Isabel Janet Poulterer

Miami

We have made the first leg of the trip without a glitch. Isa has been a trooper! She led us from one end of Miami Airport to the other. We had to tell her to slow down so we could keep up!

Thanks again for all your prayers. We will be boarding in about 10 minutes.

Goodbye USA...Hello Peru!

Where did that come from?

Sometimes emotions can jump you. I was just walking down the hall, minding my own business and all of the sudden...

"So, you leave tomorrow?"

"Yeah. It's hard to believe."

"What does the process look like?"

As I was explaining that we will spend 5 weeks in Peru meeting our new daughter then taking her to live with us, He asked a question I hadn't been asked before. For some reason it took my emotions by surprise. I found myself choking back tears.

"How does she come back to the United States?"

"She will come on a Peruvian Passport with a visa, and the minute she steps on U.S. soil she will become an American Citizen...(gulp)"

I don't think he noticed. Class was about to start. I recovered pretty quickly.

Maybe it's because I'm more patriotic than I ever realized. Maybe it's because I understand what kind of privileges she will have with her new citizenship. Maybe it's because I know too many people who have fought so hard to come to this country, stuggled so deeply to stay in this country, sacrificed so much just to survive in this country.

Or maybe it's because as followers of Jesus we are called to welcome the widow, the orphan, and the alien with open arms. Cecilia is two out of three.

At least for now...

Whatever the reason, she will be home as soon as she steps off that plane.

Thank God...

mbp

Papa and Isa sing for Cecilia

Isa and I wanted to sing this song for Cecilia. Hope you enjoy it.

In June Luciana took me to the James Taylor and Carol King Troubadour concert for my birthday.

wow.

I’m drawn to a certain type of music. Just ask Luciana and she’ll tell you. She calls it depressing. I call it contemplative; highway music. Whatever you want to call it, I connect with it.

It reminds me of a longing in the human soul; a longing for something more. Most of the people who sing about it seem to have few answers. Maybe that’s why they do such a phenomenal job of describing longing.

Anyway, Cecilia helps me to connect with that longing. The ache in my heart to meet her at times goes beyond anything earthly.

Kind of like the longing to truly know Jesus himself.

mbp

A Message from Huaraz

I wanted to share part of the message we received form the woman that we will be staying with in Huaraz.

Take a look...

"I wanted to let you know that your blog made me cry - in a good way. I heard several months ago that there was an American family waiting for "Rosita," but I don't think that anyone here knows any of the particulars, and most importantly, that she is going to a Christian family.

I wonder if you guys know that:

- Arco Iris is a missionary orphanage
- Rosita has been very much loved and well taken care of by the "tias" her whole life
- she is a beautiful, dainty little girl who always wears frilly dresses and fancy shoes to Sunday School
- she goes to Sunday School every week at the Christian & Missionary Alliance church, the same one we attend here in Huaraz
- she reminds me of a precious little, black-haired fairy!
- she does look just like the doll you bought for your older daughter
- everyone at Arco Iris will be THRILLED to know that you are a Christian family!"

Why I love facebook

My friend told me I had to join Facebook if I wanted people to know about the adoption. I had a visceral reaction. (It was similar to Frodo’s reaction when Gandalf sacrificed his life for his friends in the Mines of Moria. “Nooooooooo!!!!")

Maybe Facebook isn’t all that bad.

When we first found out that Cecilia would be our daughter, my computer savvy sister-in-law got on the computer immediately. Within minutes she had located a woman who had a connection with Cecilia’s orphanage. She contacted this woman on Facebook. The woman said she knew our daughter, but had a friend who had actually cared for Cecilia. She gave our contact information to the second woman. (Are you following this?) We waited, and waited. A few weeks ago the second woman contacted us. We immediately followed up with questions about our daughter’s health and the orphanage. It seemed, however, that we would not hear from her before we left for Peru.

Until the other night...

She sent an email with pictures of our daughter and confessed she was slow to respond because she wasn’t sure we were “for real.” She told me to look for her on... yes, you guessed it, Facebook. There we would find a friend of hers (the third woman) who is still in Huaraz working with Wycliff Bible Translators.

Long story, short... we just spoke to the third woman on the phone in Huaraz, Peru after she sent us a long message with her contact information on... well... you know.

This woman and her family have offered us a place to stay, a ride from the bus station, and a 5 year old playmate for Isabel. They are as excited about this adventure as we are. So many questions... so many prayers... one 26:10 minute conversation...

We are more ready to go than ever.

Friend me if you want. I’ve sold out:)

The time draws near

Don't know much about you
Don't know who you are
We've been doing fine without you
But we could only go so far
Don't know why you chose us
Were you watching from above
Is there someone there that knows us
Said we'd give you all our love

Marc Cohn

We spend four more nights in our home before we leave for Lima. Joy and anxiety are so closely related.

A quick thank you to the men who came over to pray for me last night (and those who were with us in spirit). I am awestruck by the friends God has placed in my life.

I couldn't walk this one alone...

mbp

Safe?

“Ooh! Is he – quite safe? I shall feel rather nervous about meeting a lion.”

“That you will, and no mistake. If there’s anyone who can appear before Aslan without their knees knocking, they’re either braver than most or else just silly.”

“Then he isn’t safe?”

“Safe? Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the king, I tell you.”

Excerpt from The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe

I’ve been awake since 3:00 am and finally decided, in order to go back to sleep, I would probably have to empty my mind. It’s now 5:20 and the winds seem to have died down in West Chicago; at least for the time being. The world is covered with a thick blanket. It’s amazing how peaceful the world is when it’s covered in white.

For the past couple of hours my mind has been stuck on thoughts of “safety” and “high risk.” I was actually awoken by a text. A good friend is giving birth to their sixth child this morning after what the doctors have called a “high risk pregnancy.” (Seems like an ironic term to me.)

I think it’s odd that the best we can do is wish people “safety.” The signs in front of every high school before each break state “Have a safe and happy ______ (fill in the blank).” Why not, “Have the adventure of your lifetime, full of challenges and joys that will take you to incredible new places and teach you amazing new thing, so that when you return you are a better and more complete person than you were when you left?”

I know it doesn’t fit on the sign very well. Actually, it doesn’t fit in our culture very well either. Yet, I don’t remember Jesus putting on latex-free gloves before healing the leper. His discourse to His disciples before sending them out did not include, “Make sure you have a backup plan, just in case...” Saint Paul wasn’t out of God’s will just because he was shipwrecked, beaten, and eventually killed.

Who said anything about safe?

Don’t get me wrong, I wear my seatbelt every time I get in the car, I try to eat healthy, and even exercise on occasion. I think we should be wise as we face the everyday dangers of this world.

But there is more to abundant life; a lot more. Earlier I wrote that “high-risk pregnancy” seems like an ironic term to me. In our country “high-risk pregnancy” is nothing compared to “high-risk raising of those children for the next 18 years and beyond.” Yet, in our “safe and happy” culture we keep doing it; we keep having kids.

What does this have to do with the adoption of Rosa Maria Cecilia, you may ask. (After all, that’s why you are here, right?) We could lessen the risk of low birth weight by making sure that Luciana eats an extra 1500 calories each day during pregnancy. We could strengthen our chances of having a child at the top of his class by having her consume at least two eggs daily during the first trimester. We could even encourage a love of the arts by playing Mozart while our baby is still in utero.

But that is not what Luciana and I are called to do. We are called to parent Cecilia and whatever that may entail. We will do all we can to give her a wonderful life; full of adventure, and joy, and challenge. We ask for your prayers as we live out this adventure.

And don’t worry...

we will buckle her up every time we get in the car.

mbp

Snowstorm

We travel to Peru next week.

I'm sitting in the library watching the snow start to fall, after taking care of the final "red-tape." We had to update our fingerprints. (Just in case you don't know, Your passport expires every ten years, but your fingerprints for the INS expire every 18 months. Go figure; I thought they were permanent.)

As I sit here the weather is starting to make people nervous. They are calling for high winds, heavy snow, frigid temperatures and even thunder and lightning! Things are actually being cancelled before the storm hits (I feel like I'm in Georgia.)

I, on the other hand, am feeling at peace. Storms don't usually frighten me. In fact, I find them exciting. I remember sitting at the picture window in the family room as a child, watching the lightning over the reservoir. It was exhilerating. (Luciana just texted that Isa's school is cancelled for tomorrow.)

I feel the same way about traveling to Peru. I have always felt more alive in Latin America. I breathe the air a little deeper, and my heart beats a little harder. I just feel more at home there. People I have never met are considered friends. I can't explain it.

My hope is that Cecilia will feel the same way about us; a supernatural connection. Please pray for a bond that goes beyond our own understanding. Pray that we will love her as we do Isabel.

Storms don't make me nervous. Maybe it's because I've never been devastated by one.

I better go home. I think Luciana is getting a little worried. The wind is picking up.

mbp