Looking Back

At this point it seems that we will be keeping our return tickets. We are scheduled to arrive in Chicago this Saturday night. We were hoping to have been done by the 17th, but it's clear that will not be enough time. The good news is an answer to a prayer we never prayed (shame on us). A couple from the American church in Lima, friends of Mark's parents and missionaries with Scripture Union, have offered us their empty apartment to stay the last two days - two streets up from ours! It's really small but it will be so much better than a hotel room and just the perfect moving distance! I love these "coincidences that were ordained from the beginning of the world". It strengthens my faith to think that while we were just browsing the possibility of adoption in our Chicago home, feeling so in control of our decisions, there was an apartment in Lima ready for us 3 years down the road when we would need it.

I heard someone say that the reason we struggle with the thought of submission is because we think no one will look after our interests as well as we do. Then we do not know the love of God. It's looking out for my interests while I'm looking inward, doubting how much he cares and when is he going to answer me.

The apartment provision was great; I'm really thankful.

But that's not what I'm talking about.

In these 3 years we have lost 2 sisters we applied for, CERTAIN that God was calling us to them, and watched them go to Italy even though we had the family profile the Peruvian psychologist had recommended for them.

We applied for a little boy we thought was a perfect fit for our family right after Mark had asked the Lord if he would show us a child by the end of the summer. It was August. We were overjoyed. He went to Italy too.

While we were still aching from the losses, the Lord sent us a unique opportunity to love a separated, pregnant young woman and facilitate the adoption of her baby. What started as salt in the wound, was actually a healing balm.

The following summer The Lord blessed us with a phone call from our agency, out of the blue: "Are you interested in a Hispanic baby that will be born in a month? You have 24 hours to think." It's got to be a sign from God! We composed our domestic file until 2 AM. A week after she gave birth, she decided to keep the baby.

In the fall I had a very early miscarriage.

The month we decided to pull the plug on Peru and prepare to go to Brazil for a year or so, the day I had to call Mark at work to come home early because I was on the couch with a bad back crisis, the night after our water heater blew, flooding the basement and clearing our account, we got Lia.

What was God's love doing during all this? It was present in that woman's desperate life so that she would carry Lia to term. So she could be mine.

Lia was the only child I didn't specifically ask the Lord for. What I had prayed was "If our family is meant to be a one child family, your Name be blessed." Of course, this was only after many other prayers and thoughts I am not so proud of. I don't think I got her because I "let go". She is a gift. But I think I experienced His love more fully because I "let go".

And I can recognize it better when it comes in the form of an apartment. Blessed be the name of the Lord.

These pictures are from our trip to the mall today. Oh, to have that view from Stratford!